The Kite Runner

First Blog

How do people cope when their lives are changed by forces they can not control?

Uncontrollable situations/forces can be either a nusience or a blessing. In these situations someone's true character comes out because all they can do is react to the uncontrollable situation. No two people will cope the same way because everyone has different motives driving their decision making. After a tragedy someone could become depressed and keep to themselves because they are so stricken with grief. Another individual might learn to cope through perfection, striving to impress. 

Hassan being raped was not an uncontrollable event or force for Amir. Amir had an opportunity to intervene, to have control and possibly stop Assef so his coping is different. Amir has to live with guilt because he did not take control when he could have and he knows that he made the wrong choice. This event changed Amir's life and he went through a lot of coping but it was definitely a controllable situation. 

Hassan learned how to deal with uncontrollable events very early in his life. Hassan's mother abandoned him and his father after his birth. This frequently upset Hassan and he coped with grief. Hassan was born into the life of a servant but this uncontrollable force never seemed to upset him. He liked where he lived and told Amir that it was his home. Hassan always seemed to be able to deal with what life threw at him until that day in the alley. That was something Hassan did not know how to cope with, possibly because Amir was not by his side to help him. Hassan may have been upset about his mother but he could always turn to Amir to be there and take his mind off of it. After Hassan was raped Amir abandoned him, and with Amir went Hassan's ability to cope.